The Most Terrifying Foods in the World

Cracked has really reinvented itself in a great way, from the blatant MAD Magazine knockoff, to an online humor website that is actually smart and funny, while being informative (read a MAD recently? not much of any of these things…).
Today’s article is The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World. Anyone who knows me, or read my recent Bull Penis post, knows of my, shall we say, penchant for eating exotic foods. This list though, Jesus. Most of these I have never heard of, though I am proud to say that I have eaten a minor variation of one of them: the Iraqi boiled sheep’s head – last year I ate a boiled goat’s head at Greek diner in Astoria. Another one, the Filipino half-incubated duck eggs I saw on Fear Factor once. By far the most disgusting one, though it’s only listed as number 5, is Casu Marzu:

Casu Marzu is a sheep’s milk cheese that has been deliberately infested by a Piophila casei, the “cheese fly.” The result is a maggot-ridden, weeping stink bomb in an advanced state of decomposition.

Its translucent larvae are able to jump about 6 inches into the air, making this the only cheese that requires eye protection while eating. The taste is strong enough to burn the tongue, and the larvae themselves pass through the stomach undigested, sometimes surviving long enough to breed in the intestine, where they attempt to bore through the walls, causing vomiting and bloody diarrhea

Eek. I am still creeped out by the eating of bugs. In fact, bugs in general have always creeped me the hell out. Although I did eat ants with Adam Shipman once in middle school…

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Filed under mad magazine, sheep's head

Live-Blogging the new Radiohead album – In Rainbows

Just bought the new Radiohead album In Rainbows. Paid 5 pounds. The site is moving at a snail’s pace, they must be seriously stressed with people buying the album.

I’m giving the album a first listen. Writing down my reaction to each track.

Here we go:

1. 15 Step – A very bright opening for a Radiohead album. The track is in 5 (or 10 depending on your philosophy…). It starts out with a reverby 808 clap and beat-sliced high-frequency drums. The track get progressively more analog, so to speak. More realistic drums are introduced, then a pretty straight-forward electric guitar, then driving bass. Settles into a nice groove, if it does get a little “groove”y if you know what I mean.

2. Bodysnatchers – Fuzzed out guitar and bass begin this track. This track could seriously be at home in The Bends. Still upbeat, could this be an uplifting Radiohead album? Yorke’s vocals are, as usual, obscured, so he could be singing about suicide for all I know. But it definitely sounds more positive than Hail to the Thief. Striking though, is the similarity of the first two tracks to Kid A, with the intro electronica-influenced track followed by the rock-out second jam.

3. Nude – Very unique, unsettling intro. Lots of effects at the beginning, eventually settling into a really nice tune, relying mainly on simple guitar, bass, drums, and reverb soaked vocals. Gets a little ethereal towards the B section, but the effects seem to be hardware-produced, which is a nice change. Nigel Godrich you demon you, this track is so clean, an early favorite.

4. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi – Starts with a drum sample-style breakbeat. In fact it’s so clean, I might just take it… I think it is safe to say at this point that this album will be considered one of their “guitar-heavy” albums. Harmonically, this song is very beautiful, expansive and patience, the chord changes are unexpected and very welcome. Still uplifting, although Yorke described the album as “terrifying”. Aww he’s just afraid of be called a big softy.

5. All I Need – 2nd in a row with an opening drum solo, although this one has an ambient background. Most notably absent in this album seems to be the lack of memorable melodies and lyrics. This is usually a doomsday sign for bands in their later years, but this album is so far making up for it with excellent production and arrangements. But I have to wonder: it really is a pleasure to hear on my nice headphones, but would I want to listen to it on my laptop speakers or crappy iPod headphones, like so many people inevitably will? I wonder if the beauty and subtlety of the tracks will be lost in those formats.

6. Faust Arp – First acoustic guitar-based song on the album. Wow, kind of Beatles-influenced, with accompanying string (synth?) counter-melody. The guitars’ chord progression really reminds me of Mother Nature’s Son from The White Album.

7. Reckoner – Jesus, this one opens with a loud drum solo. Ouwey. Followed by electric guitar picking (noticing a trend?). The album is now starting to solidify in how Yorke described it (“almost embarrassingly minimal”). Hopefully the almost is a big almost – I think it is. Reckoner develops into a nice, lush orchestral section in the middle, with some really nice multi-tracked Thoms. This is shaping up to be a brilliant background music album. A great soundtrack to listen to as you walk down the street in fall, or to put on in your bedroom just before gettin “amorous”.

8. House Of Cards – Ouch. The 160 bitrate is painfully noticeable in the opening guitar solo in this track. At first I though it might be amp distortion, but I know that sound! This is maybe the track most influenced by post-rock, although it sounds unlike any post-rock song I have ever heard. Reverb might as well be listed as a fifth instrument hear, as it is covering every single sound we hear. It’s a pretty little song, ironically maybe the most memorable, and also the most sparse and hypnotic.

9. Jigsaw Falling Into Place – Starts off sounding like an acoustic 2 + 2 = 5, but then taking a left turn into obscureness with Yorke’s trademark howls. But then a clear, present version of his voice comes in with the melody, his most clear lyrics yet on this album: “Just as you take my hand…”. The song, like many others, is tight and neat, developing into a nice stringy jam towards the end. A good amount of strings on this album.

10. Videotape – Wow. I couldn’t really write during that one. By far the most hypnotic song on the album. A four note piano sostenuto (with a very, very minor variation) rides over the entire song, Yorke mumbling characteristically throughout the song, a picked bass on every quarter-note, and an extremely limited drum part (with its phased, effected counterpart in the left channel). Towards the end, the song seems to make an attempt to break out of its hypnotic prison but never manages to, this could be the “terrifying” thing Yorke was talking about – it is kind of frightening.

This is definitely a unique Radiohead album, no doubt about it. It will never be as widely hailed as OK Computer or Kid A, I feel pretty sure of that. It will not be a major cultural milestone as those albums were and it doesn’t seek to be. It is just a nice, chill album to listen to. It is the type of album you will find in your iTunes, a couple years from now and think, “Wow, this is a really great album. Why didn’t I listen to it more?”. Why? Because it’s not here to thrill, it not here to make an impression. It’s as thematically shoe-gaze as it is musically. It is here to exist as an album of good music.

Now, that said, it may not bode well for the future of Radiohead. Pretty much all rock stars settle into a comfortable style and end up sticking with it till the bitter end – usually with less than exciting results. Instrumentally, Radiohead is looking to their past – I’d say somewhere in between The Bends and OK Computer. The music, production, and style is all forward-looking, but they are actively keeping it guitar, bass, drums, and voice. The electronics and ambient pad sounds are used much more sparingly than in past albums. They do wonderful things with these instruments, but the music that results will not get you jumping around the apartment. It will however, put a smile (melancholic or not) on your face. Just as with Hail to the Thief I am thinking, “Now I really want to hear what they will do next…”.

It is definitely the type of album that certain people will claim as their favorite, just because how understated it is. It’s not my favorite. I think OK Computer will forever be that, likely because it is the first one I heard. This is a delightfully strange album though, in a way that isn’t readily apparent. I look forward to listening to it on different speakers and headphones and seeing how I feel about it. Personally, most striking is Godrich’s production. Radiohead should do what The Beatles never had the balls to do. Invite their producer to be a member of the band. He is perhaps the one contributing the most.

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Filed under In Rainbows, iTunes, Kid A, live-blogging, Mother Nature's Son, Nigel Godrich, OK Computer, Radiohead, synth, The Beatles, The Bends, The White Album, Thom Yorke

Watch the victim’s mom describe her grief

Tragedy hits a small Wisconsin town. Typical mass murder style: guy goes apeshit, kills a bunch of people for no apparent reason. Crazy shit, happens a lot in this country for some reason.

Here’s what bothered me. CNN.com’s video link, titled:

Watch the victim’s mom describe her grief

They’re really just cutting to the chase now. No “watch the impact on family and friends”, no “watch the family’s reaction”, just sit back and “watch the victim’s mom describe her grief”.

That’s all we really want right? Just give us a taste of the tragedy. Let us experience some vicarious grief and horror. That’s why we watch the news, right?

I can’t bring myself to click that link. It’s tempting though.

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Filed under mass murder, murder, sheriff's deputy, Tyler Peterson, wisconsin

Google Reader out of Labs

Google Reader, which has become a daily routine for me, has just come out of Google Labs (which is G-speak for Beta). I can’t tell you how much of a Reader slave I have become. It essentially collects and stores all of your RSS feeds in one place, thereby saving you the need of checking every single blog and website manually for updates. You simply subscribe to each feed and Reader keeps them all in one place. I have a good amount of blogs and stuff in there, so every day I have between 100-200 new posts that I sift through. It can often be a info glut at times, but using the key commands and maintaining a discriminatory perspective on the mass of info is necessary. I am the type of person who needs to feel current with the times so it is a nice alternative to sifting through numerous websites, and their numerous ads.

Also emerging from Labs is GOOG 411, which is an awesome alternative to the traditional paid 411 bullshit.

I really dig the map feature. Having Google Maps on my phone has seriously changed my life.

Oh Google Masters please enslave the planet with your superiors ideas!

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Filed under labs, reader, rss

Fall TV Line-Up

Pushing Daisies seems promising. I caught the first episode, although I was actually kind of half-watching it. It’s a cute little fantasy, with a good amount of dark humor – it reminds me of some of Roald Dahl’s children’s stories. The premise is pretty creative and quirky, could be tough to sustain a few seasons though: a man has the power to bring people back to life by touching them, if he touches them again they die forever, and if he doesn’t touch them in 2 minutes then someone nearby dies to keep the balance or something but the second-touch thing still applies. So of course a highly desirable, hot, cool chick dies and he brings her back to life, but of course he can’t touch her or else she dies. Quite a pickle.

Reaper is getting really good reviews but I honestly wasn’t too into it. The trend this season seems to be quirky dramas, which I suppose is a nice alternative to the continual onslaught of cop, hospital, and court dramas. For example, Reaper is about a young guy who is contracted by Satan (played by Twin Peaks’ Ray Wise to hunt down denizens of hell who have escaped. It’s essentially a comedy and there were a few funny moments in it, but right now it seems a little, um… CW-ey if you know what I mean (although, 2 Family Guys every weekday? Nice, CW!).

Chuck is also getting a lot of accolades but to be honest, it just seems corny as hell, I don’t think I’ll find time to watch it.

I half-watched an episode of Dirty Sexy Money and it was good kind of in the same way that Desperate Housewives is good. The writing, acting, and cinematography is good, but I just don’t want to spend an hour watching rich assholes, no matter how clever it is.

To be honest, it’s getting really hard having to wait until February until Lost and BSG come out. This season is promising, but I want my shows!

Oh yeah! 30 Rock‘s season premier was hilarious!!

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Filed under Lost, Pushing Daisies, Ray Wise, Reaper, Roald Dahl, Twin Peaks

Freakball!

Maybe it’s because I’ve never really been big on sports, but I could care less about the steroid scandals!!! Seriously, what is the difference between taking a shot that aids muscle growth and working out on a machine? They’re both fucking unnatural! If it makes them play better baseball, track and field, early music, etc why the hell should it matter?? Freakball baby!! I wanna see hulking mass-men crushing baseball bats in their bare hands, veiny 7-foot-tall freaks with tiny nuts crushing the skulls of other freaks by throwing basketballs directly at their heads, neighing horse-women snapping calf-tendons at 25 mph leading to the mass-pile-up of 8 other equestrianite steroid atrocities.
I’ve long been a proponent of steroids in sports, I mean they are fighting a losing battle. Let Marion Jones keep the medals. Let Barry Bonds keep the needles and continue bashing little white balls into the heaven with the fierceness of a fucking supernova.

Btw, I’ll eventually have a more detailed description of my feelings on steroids in sports (I actually do believe what I just wrote). It’s something I’ve been working on in my mind for a while. Stay posted.

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Filed under Marion Jones, olympics, steroids, track and field, working out

Mandatory Flag Pins!!

If I didn’t have a glimmer of hope that Obama might actually be the real thing, the flag pin controversy would be my kind of scandal. It seems almost like a dadaist prank someone secretly pulled on the candidates, making sure they all would have to wear flag pins from now until the day they die. Unfortunately, I may be naive but I think Obama could actually make a good president. My cynicism is screaming in the back of my head to wise up, especially given his less than enlightened gay marriage stance, but I am suspending my disbelief – he at least seems unwilling to engage in attack politicking, unlike his fellow candidates.
Please Jesus just don’t let the candidate be Hillary. Anyone, Edwards included, who would be willing to vote to give the president authorization to go to war, when it was SO obvious that the case was bullshit, will never get my vote, ever. I hate to say that unless Obama gets the nomination I will not vote, but I can’t imagine voting for anyone else. I don’t even agree with a number of his policies, he just actually seems to be somewhat honest, strong, and principled. I don’t know if I’ve seen a politician like that in my lifetime.

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Filed under Iraq, John Edwards, Obama, war

New Radiohead album – Decide your own price.

Beautifully symbolic gesture from the greatest band in the world, not to mention a shrewd business decision. The days of paying for mp3s is fast coming to a close and the smart musicians are accelerating this sweet little apocalypse (Pssst!! Look to your left! Free Music!!!). Radiohead’s new album, free from their record contract, is going to be available for a name-your-own-price kinda deal (aside from a small processing fee). Sure, there will be people who decide to pay nothing, but that is where the art comes into this. Radiohead is posing the question to their fans: How much is our music worth to you? If I compare OK Computer‘s positive effect on my life in terms of the price of a beer in Manhattan then it is worth hundreds of dollars, because it has meant so much more to me than the collective buzzes I received from those beers did (Confusing? I know. It makes sense in my mind. I tend to quantify the importance of buying various things based on the exorbitant cost of beer at Manhattan bars. This book is 10 bucks? Well, I’ll spend more on two beers at the drop of a hat when I’m out drinking so I guess it’s worth it…) But I paid about 15 bucks for that album. Actually I first heard it for free on a tape my friend Christina made for me (Wow does that mean I’m old??). Then I went out and bought it.

They are also selling a special box set, with booklets and vinyl and all sorts of good stuff on it. It seems tempting. What I may do is download the mp3s for 5 bucks or something, and if it is as amazing as everyone knows it will be, then I’ll spring the 50 bucks or so for the box. Damn you Radiohead!

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Filed under Manhattan, Radiohead

New Family Guys, what is happening??

I don’t really know what to make of the new season of The Family Guy. The season premier (the Star Wars parody was really good, but I noticed several scenes where the momentum seemed to die, and the insane, ever-present punchlines just didn’t come. In the last episode from Sunday, titled Movin out (Brian’s Song) (a characteristic FG triple-entendre), this was much more striking. I’m a huge fan, I consider it one of my top shows along with Lost, BSG, and It’s Always Sunny. I have defended its humor whenever I get a chance – they don’t need to rely on plot like South Park and The Simpsons. It is slapstick. Plot didn’t really matter in the comedy classic Airplane and it needn’t in FG.

But something very different is going on and I think it is intentional. This episode had several scenes that ended without punchlines, not with failed punchlines (every episode has a couple, I accept it), but literally the scenes just ended. Some were meant to be sad, some meant to be awkward (I think…), but some just… ended. Very strange.

Notably, there were the extended scenes with Carl, played by H. Jon Benjamin from Home Movies and Dr. Katz (as well as numerous cameos on almost every Adult Swim cartoon). Those scenes in particular seemed to draw inspiration from the bone-dry humor in those shows. I like that humor, in Home Movies particularly, but that has never really been FG’s selling point. I relish those mundane, realist conversations that flavor and temper the off-the-wall humor in FG, but trying to build a show on that sort of banter is fundamentally changing the show. I dug those awkward movie conversations between Chris and Carl, but you need the fast-paced slapstick humor and offensive one-liners to give those mundane scenes any sort of weight. In a well-balanced episode, those scenes prove to be more tense than the ones that end up causing controversy.

I’m not ready to admit that FG has gone astray yet, I mean I tolerated the Nikki and Paolo episodes in the third season of Lost, but they need to get their balance back. In almost every episode, season 3 and after, I have had at least a couple moments where I could not control my laughter. I don’t think I had one audible after viewing this episode.

And I sure as hell cherish my laughing time.

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Filed under It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Lost, Movin out, Simpsons, South Park

Ableton Live 7 Announced!

Freakin’ awesome. Ableton, the company that makes the software with which I make pretty much all of my music, has just announced their new version of Live and has begun limited beta-testing (including your’s truly). So far it looks mainly like an answer to many of the requests that users have been itching for on the Ableton Forum: mixed time-signatures, updated automation, better drum sequencing, better effects (visualized compression yay!). I have yet to see ways in which the program has been revolutionized, such as with Version 6’s Rack feature, although several new features look very promising.

The best new feature, as far as I can tell, is the new Drum Rack which seems to crush any need for the now antiquated Impulse drum machine (I’m sure there will still be some quaint ways to utilize it). Drum Rack seems somewhat modeled on Battery from Native Instruments, which after messing with for a bit, used to make me return to my little Impulse with a shrug. You can now map drums, or any other sample or software instrument for that matter, to a midi note (shown in a neat little MPC-like visual. Each mapped note can be clicked on for editing either the audio sample (in a Simpler-like box) or the MIDI instrument. You can also add individual effects to each sound and incorporate subsequent racks to create a literally infinite sound chain. For those of us who make beat-oriented music, this is huge. Each signal also has its own mixer controls so that you can monitor and control panning and volume in the session view.

There are also several new soft-synths: an analog-modeling synth, an electric piano modeler, and a string synth. I’ve tinkered with the first two and, since I’ve been increasingly using synth and keys in my tunes, I’ll likely end up buying them. They get a unique sound that is very distinct from Operator.

The beta seems a little slow and buggy, but that could just be my busted-ass Powerbook, which is terminally on the fritz.

I was hoping for some earth-shattering new feature, possibly involving the Cycling 74 partnership, but looks like we may have to wait a bit (hopefully they are just holding the surprise!).

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Filed under MPC, Native Instruments, soft-synths