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With GTA IV coming out today, I really hope Hillary goes apeshit about how video games will lead to the apocalypse or some shit, like she has in the past.

She says the series demeans women and contributes to a “silent epidemic” of sex and violence in the media that could harm children.

“They’re playing a game that encourages them to have sex with prostitutes and then murder them. You know, that’s kind of hard to digest,” she said in a speech in 2005.

Sigh. GTA doesn’t encourage people to murder prostitutes any more than real life does. The actual controversy with GTA is that it affords you realistic choices. Yes, you can murder prostitutes. Or, you can drive around in a Ferrari. Or, you can fly a jetpack around the desert. Or, you can drive a tank around and kill hundreds of people. Ok, well maybe not realistic choices, but more than Contra or Halo.

The fact that Clinton, Lieberman, and others think so little of the populace that they believe we could be somehow ensnared into a life of violence by an electronic toy (which is essentially all GTA, in its exalted glory, really is) shows the elitism and authoritarianism at their core. GTA is nothing like real life, not one person thinks it is. It’s a motherfucking badass video game series that should be appreciated for the work of art that it is. GTA IV is seriously making me wish I never forsook my video games systems in the pursuit of other electronic endeavors.

(See also: Study find no link between video games and violence)

Well lookie here! A Facebook app that actually does something useful. Register to vote on Facebook! That’s definitely much more useful than vampire-bites or zombies or whatever dumb crap people be sending me.

Wow. Not shrooms!

Dude. From the Game Informer review of Grand Theft Auto 4:

I now know how film critics felt after screening “The Godfather.” It’s been days since Grand Theft Auto IV’s credits rolled, yet I can’t seem to construct a coherent thought without my mind wandering off into a daydream about the game. I just want to drop everything in my life so I can play it again. Experience it again. Live it again…Grand Theft Auto IV doesn’t just raise the bar for the storied franchise; it completely changes the landscape of gaming.

Must. Play. Video. Game.

Try to ignore the background music.

So, I’m currently mastering a track which, if you have any experience, you know can be an insane adventure. I’ve been mastering my own tracks for a couple years, but I’m only now attempting to learn how it actually works (got me a book an’ everythin’!). I recently downloaded a demo of Izotope Ozone which after 30 minutes already has my track louder and sounding better than after like a day of Mastering in my DAW, Ableton (yeah, I know… why would you ever master in Live…).

The thing is, mastering is way more technical than composing, arranging and general mixing. I’m scrubbing the rust off of the part of my brain that was at one time engaged for learning science (not that I was ever very good at it, mind you). But man, some of this shit flies higher over my head than Lindsay Lohan in a space shuttle.

While reading about the analog-modeling equalizer in Ozone, I came across the term phase artifacts. Guh? Ok, so the term artifacts in audio tends to refer to unwanted distortions or clippings that result from applying effects or maxing your signal. But phase? Phase in music and audio can refer to about 10 different things.

So I do a google search on phase artifacts. For fun, here are the top five reults:

Correction for interferometric synthetic aperture radar atmospheric phase artifacts using time series of zenith wet delay observations from a GPS network

Mitigation of tropospheric InSAR Phase artifacts through differential multisquint processing

Missing first points and phase artifact mutually entangled in FT NMR data—noniterative solution

Removal of phase artifacts from fMRI data using a Stockwell transform filter improves brain activity detection.

Although shade-off and halo patterns occur as a natural result of the phase contrast optical system, they are often referred to as phase artifacts or image distortions. In all forms of positive phase contrast, bright phase halos usually surround the boundaries between large specimen features and the medium.

I’m out of my league here people.

Seriously though, apparently none of these have to do with audio. I guess I’ll tool around and eventually realize that it’s some basic sonic concept given a fancy name. Music tech geeks are all about giving fancy names to things to make themselves feel more important.

Here a couple definitions while I’m at it:

DAW – Digital Audio Workstation = program for audio. That’s it. Calling Garageband or Logic or Protools a DAW is like calling Microsoft Word a Digital Word-Processing Workstation. Why not call iTunes a Digital Audio Listening-Station.

Processing = Doin’ stuff. Ya know, like digging lint out of your belly button is technically a process. I love when laptop musicians talk about “processing” audio:
“I’m applying some realtime processing to an incoming audio signal routed live into my DAW”
Translation: I just dropped reverb on my vocals.

Ok, well back to mastering. Oops, I mean um, applying a sonic revolution to my digital audio artifice.

I haven’t really spent as much time on IMDB as I used to, I mean I’ve never really been a message-board geek but the IMDB boards were always a good place to find film recommendations. Well, one of my cult movie faves apparently has a solid following on IMDB. It’s nice to see others appreciate Another Stakeout for the diamond-in-the-rough that it is.
Here are some excerpts of the discussions among the “Stakers”:

It was disappointing that the studio had final cut. Badham originally submitted a 4 1/2 hour masterpiece. During the original screenings, people who viewed the original cut have agreed that it would have swept the oscars in every major category. It was a different movie – it had moving performances, a poignant screenplay, and the cinematography was breathtaking. The screening ended with a 10 minute standing ovation. Among the featured actors whose scenes were left in the editing room floor were Harvey Keitel, River Phoenix, Willem Dafoe, and Alan Young in a potentially career defining role as the assistant district attorney.

I hate all of the posers who say they are fans of Another Stakeout. Just because they picked up this classic on dvd or video or… laserdisc. Maybe one of those newfangled… blue rays or good definitions. If you didn’t see this movie in the theater 7 times, you don’t care about it. If you loved it so much, you would go back in time and see it in the theater like everybody else. So get the hell out of my house.

I have 4 [tattoos]. One on my back that is a picture of Emilio, Richard and Rosie–it’s sort of a profile-montage. The next one is on my ankle–it’s a stylized “AS” in gothic font. The third is on my left wrist (on the inside, to be as direct a link to my heart as possible) and it’s the box-office total, including worldwide distribution, VHS, DVD and television market shares, excluding percentages of the gross not mentioned in the original figures. The last one is on my bum, and I cannot divulge what that depicts. It’s a secret between me, my tattoo artist and God.

Anyone else hear rumours that Gus Van Sant, on the belated heels of his Psycho remake success, is going to direct a shot-by-shot remake of Another Stakeout? I have heard rumblings of John Mahoney and Jerry O’Connell reprising the Dreyf and Estevez roles. Curious to see who gets cast as Asst. DA Gina Garrett.

I’m a 62 year old man and an Another Stakeout enthusiast. When I’m on the internet I can pretend to be a lot of things; a 25 year old handsome man, an 18 year old nympho asian girl, Kelly LeBrock, a bored house wife, a 20 year old nympho asian girl… But one thing I’ve never pretended to be is not an Another Stakeout fan. That truth lies in my heart.

So if you’re a closet Staker, head over to the IMDB boards and show some love. Oh, and be sure to visit the AS fansite!

My roommate is going to be away for the summer so he’s looking for someone to take his bedroom for the summer (May – August or any division thereof).
We live in Kensington, Brooklyn, which is about a 20 minute train ride from Manhattan. Rent is $650, which is about as cheap as you are going to find in NYC. This is the larger of the two bedrooms in the apartment.
The neighborhood is safe, quaint, yet busy enough that it still feels like New York. Tons of places to eat nearby; very close to Park Slope, Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn Heights; a stone’s throw away from the Lower East Side; within walking distance of Prospect Park; one block away from the subway; laundromat on the corner; a slot-car racing track across the street… What more could you ask for?

Oh yeah, you get to live with ME for the summer! A dream come true! Actually, I’ll be away for a chunk of the summer, so you’ll have the place to yourself for a while.

Email me if you are interested (it’s to the left) and please tell your friends!

I played a really cool gig with Michael Leonhart Monday night at Joe’s Pub. Here’s a cool drawing of the event by artist Michael Arthur. I’m the bespectacled horn player on the left who needs a haircut even in drawn form.

Apparently, Argentina kicks ass.