Matt Marks Music

Senate Abandons Auto Bailout. Sigh. Ok, I get why we wouldn’t want to bail them out. They absolutely do not deserve it. But, where in the holy Jesus was this level of scrutiny when we were deciding to bail out the financial industry, for nearly a trillion dollars?? They denied the auto industry 14 billion! What in the holy hell is going on here? I will never really understand it, I guess, it’s all so complicated, but does this make any sense to anyone? It doesn’t even really seem like the “experts” in charge understand what in the world is going on? Guh. Fuck it. This scene is dead anyway.

Newsflash! Mafoo’s blog official Stupidest Website of 2007, Blackle, is in fact full of shit:

LCD screens … are lit via fluorescent tube lights located above or behind the LCD screen. The screen scatters the light, creating the picture. When an LCD screen is on, the lights are also on. “Black is not created by the absence of electricity or by turning off the light,” explains Gray. “In a lot of cases, a black screen looks purple because the colors are created by mixing the right pixel elements in the LCD together at the same time

Look, I may be somewhat of a nihilist, but I don’t really wish the planet any ill. I think protecting the environment is a wonderful thing. But the recent “green” trend nauseates me, to be honest. It is just such a fad. People get caught up in the vanity of making themselves appear as “green” as possible by using Blackle and talking about their “carbon footprint” and shit. Fuck that. You know how I save the earth? I turn off my lights when I’m not using them, because I’m poor as shit and I don’t want a large electric bill. There is simply no way Americans are going to willingly inconvenience themselves on a mass scale to save anything. There will have to be some profit in it. Let’s hope Obama’s plan to invest in environmental jobs does something for the environment and the economy. Who knows though, because there seems to be a very large appetite for bullshit environmental solutions – maybe he’ll just give the public what it wants and appoint Ty Pennington the head of the National Greenwash Department.

Meow.

Why excessively, of course.

Den of Geeks lists the 55 movie remakes currently in the works, including:

The Karate Kid

They Live

The Incredible Shrinking Man (with Eddie Murphy attached, shudder…)

Meatballs

Metropolis

The Dirty Dozen

Conan

Clash of the Titans

Akira

Death Wish

Footloose

The Taking of Pelham 123 (which recently filmed in my neighborhood!)

The Last House on the Left

Oldboy

Poltergeist

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Short Circuit (!)

The Birds

Logan’s Run

The Thing

Westworld

Barbarella

My Fair Lady

and a whole bunch more…

I used to think that film remakes were a relatively recent thing – a facet of Hollywood’s depleted imagination, but apparently they’ve been around since pretty much the dawn of film. Still, it seems it used to be done much more tastefully. For example, Howard Hawks’ classic His Girl Friday is a remake of The Front Page from ’31, but it is done so originally and tastefully. It’s hard to think of recent remakes that actually do something new and unique.

Here are a few successful remakes IMO:

Rintaro’s anime version of Metropolis (2001): a beautifully unique departure from Fritz Lang’s original masterpiece. It creates a wonderful new world that’s based more on the shadow of the original than the actual story. Contains the best apocalyptic scene in film, set to the music of Ray Charles.

The Fly (1986): I mean, I’m of the opinion that Cronenberg can really do no wrong. He embeds this mediocre classic with his own themes of transmogrification, bodily intrusion, moral decay and somehow makes it very entertaining to watch. All hail DC!

Scarface (1983): DePalma imbibes the early Hawks classic with the rampant greed of the 80s, while retaining the grittiness of the 70s contemporary gangster classics. I’ve always thought this was more of an homage to Scorsese than Hawks, just as The Untouchables was his homage to Coppola. He severed any connection to the original’s Al Capone references, as well as its grace, favoring a lowbrow Cuban immigrant as its antihero over the legendary gangster.
(Not the trailer, but just as good)

Ocean’s Eleven (2001): I don’t want to like this one, if only to discourage Soderbergh from doing anymore remakes (Solaris? Really??), but it’s very entertaining. He placed himself comfortably within the mainstream by making a tight, clean, beautiful big-budget Hollywood film. And it works. The scene at the end with the fountains and Clair de Lune is legendary, providing a nice antithesis to the Hollywood trend of the thin fleeting gratification of a crime well done. It’s one of the best heist films period.

So, what do y’all think? Any additions to my very small list of successful remakes? I can probably think of a few more, once I’ve had a few more cups of coffee…

Josh Martinez – Rainy Day

It’s a fan-made video, but actually not bad, just a bunch of stock-footage of rain.

.cc_box a:hover .cc_home{background:url(‘http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-over.png’) !important;}.cc_links a{color:#b9b9b9;text-decoration:none;}.cc_show a{color:#707070;text-decoration:none;}.cc_title a{color:#868686;text-decoration:none;}.cc_links a:hover{color:#67bee2;text-decoration:underline;}

Jon Stewart is smokin’ in this interview. I must say though, despite the wrong-headedness and subtle facism of his viewpoint, I still have to give it up to Huckabee for being one of the few calm, reasonable socially-conservative voices out there. The man knows how to have a respectful debate. Watching these two men talk makes me wish all left/right debates had this much class.

Some more love from NY Magazine:

8. Alarm Will Sound
The energetic ensemble Alarm Will Sound, conducted by Alan Pierson, doesn’t hop from program to program but develops its shows over months. Its last undertaking culminated in an evening called “a/rhythmia,” where they played an orchestration of a player-piano piece by Conlon Nancarrow— one that couldn’t be performed by human hands.

Word up NY Mag, we love you too!

Finally, 7 years after the fact, we hear of some good that came out of the tragedy of 9/11:

[Eric Roth] whipped up a [Forrest Gump] sequel back in 2001, one that would continue with the story just two minutes after the original ended, and handed it in on September 10, 2001. Then came 9/11, and it was decided that the sequel was no longer relevant. “The world had changed. Now time has obviously passed, but maybe some things should just be one thing and left as they are.”

God bless the cigar-chomping executive who made that fear-based, but exalted, decision.

Yay no more bad John Lennon overdubbing!

(disgusted shiver…)

I think this pop-up banner, over the music player, of classmates.com (what is this, 2001??), really highlights what Myspace is secretly trying to say to people: “We’re the new Friendster. We’re at the point where we’ve begun losing money and we will make your experience progressively more sucky until we consist only of teens from Indonesia. Thanks for playing. Enjoy Facebook for the year or so until it too joins the social networking purgatory.

I think this pop-up banner, over the music player, of classmates.com (what is this, 2001??), really highlights what Myspace is secretly trying to say to people: “We’re the new Friendster. We’re at the point where we’ve begun losing money and we will make your experience progressively more sucky until we consist only of teens from Indonesia. Thanks for playing. Enjoy Facebook for the year or so until it too joins the social networking purgatory.

Gurf points to conservative criticism of Obama’s cabinet appointments as being ‘too elitist’:

The Ivy-laced network taking hold in Washington is drawing scorn from many conservatives, who have in recent decades decried the leftward drift of academia and cast themselves as defenders of regular Americans against highbrow snobbery. Joseph Epstein wrote in the latest Weekly Standard — before noting that former president Ronald Reagan went to Eureka College — that “some of the worst people in the United States have gone to the Harvard or Yale Law Schools . . . since these institutions serve as the grandest receptacles in the land for our good students: those clever, sometimes brilliant, but rarely deep young men and women who, joining furious drive to burning if ultimately empty ambition, will do anything to get ahead.”

The libertarian University of Chicago law professor Richard Epstein, who is not related to Joseph Epstein, worries that the team’s exceptionalism could lead to overly complex policies. “They are really smart people, but they will never take an obvious solution if they can think of an ingenious one. They’re all too clever by half,” he said. “These degrees confer knowledge but not judgment. Their heads are on grander themes . . . and they’ll trip on obstacles on the ground.”

If you’ll excuse my zeal:

Fuck. Off.

If there is one dumbass notion in America that needs to die a painful fucking death it’s that the people in charge of our country should be expected to have a healthy amount of ‘street smarts’ or ‘small town cred’.

No.

No, they don’t.

They could have handlebar moustaches, monocles, and a glass of cognac worth more than your family surgically grafted onto their fucking jewel-encrusted hands for all I care. If they are the most qualified to lead the country then they should lead. I don’t want a White House Chief of Staff I could have a beer with. I want a White House Chief of Staff that will pour a fucking beer on my head, tell me I’m an insignificant nobody, and then go help fix our messed-up-ass country, get it?

Maybe I’ve been listening to too much Webern recently but look, populism has its place. Sometimes I want a greasy meal at the Waffle House, sometimes I want to listen to bad radio pop, but down-to-earth populism has little relevance past communication for matters involving the governing of our massive country. I want geniuses running this country, straight up.

We tried the average Joes.

Didn’t work out so well, did it?