For the last, oh, 6 months or so, my BlackBerry has been in the most pathetic of states. I've gradually lost control of the "pearl", which for my phone is the central navigation tool. It started getting really bad around the time the warranty on my phone expired (how funny!), so I've been stuck with this increasingly dysfunctional phone, making my life a living hell, as my iPhone jerk friends multi-touch to their heart's content. It's kinda like being stuck in traffic and watching people zip by in the carpool lane, in fact I had been developing some serious "phone rage" of late, which I'd offer as a serious competitor of road rage.
I tend to divide people into two camps based on a fictional scenario I invented:
You are walking down a path and you encounter an obstacle – let's say a chair. Do you climb over the chair or do you move the chair out of your path before proceeding?
Think about it.
I am the type of person who would climb over the chair and proceed down the path without a second thought.
As my BlackBerry steadily degraded in quality, I simply developed a series of workarounds. Luckily my phone doesn't rely wholly on the pearl, it just makes you jump through a hundred fucking hoops to get anything done without it. After each successive loss of functionality I would cringe and then figure out a sufficiently annoying way to, for example, look at the picture I just took, which would take about 10 times the length of time as before.
Eventually though, especially in the last couple weeks, almost every function was lost, as I lost pretty much all control of the pearl – basically allowing me to make calls and answer. I'm paying 20 bucks a month data! I needs muh google maps and shit!
My partner in crime also owns the same model of BlackBerry as I, but hers just simply didn't turn on one day, so she shunned the information age completely and bought an old Samsung (which she loves). For months her old BB sat on her dresser, a relic of a more complex time.
So last night I sat in bed, subjecting her to another one of my "my BB sucks – the world is out to get me" talks. She casually offerred up this suggestion: "why don't you try replacing your pearl with my old one".
It was like that scene from Coffee and Cigarettes with Jack and Meg White. I was like: "No… Um, well maybe actually… Yeah, that just might do it. Hell yeah!!"
It totally worked. I'm mobile blogging again on my vintage BlackBerry (which may or may not be good news for you Dear Reader…). Yay! Its alive!
See, Melly's not the type to casually climb over that chair in the path. Some chair appears in her path, girl is gonna pull out a bazooka and OBLITERATE that shit.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile