Obama is responsible for the time I peed on the side of the WTC

My eyes are tired of rolling. You can only roll them so much before it stops being subconscious and you start feeling the burn. It’s kind of a workout, not just for my eyes but for my exasperation.

Every time I read another Rev. Wright/William Ayers story my eyes are blasting their quads, my patience is pumping its pecs. Please people. They’re in great shape. I don’t need anymore. But yet the stories persist, and persist. And Hillary and the far right (not too much difference anymore, huh?) keeps making the case that anyone who has any ties to Obama is fair game for some linkin’. Ayers served on a board with Obama and contributed 200 dollars to his campaign. Yes and he’s some batshit insane commie revolutionary. That makes Obama a batshit insane commie revolutionary. See how the game works?

Well, reading this Andrew Sullivan post gave me an idea. I’m tired of rolling my eyes. Let’s play the game!

I support Obama. I’ve written much on this blog in support of his candidacy.

Therefore, Obama is responsible for my heavy use of hallucinogens in my teens, my belief in the abolishment of the prison system, my hatred of both The Clash and David Bowie, the fact that I didn’t vote in the 2000 election, my S&M-themed chamber music ensemble, and the time I peed on the side of the one of the Twin Towers a few months before 9/11 (I had to go!).

Obama is in favor of drug-legalization, wants serial killers to go free, is against corny british 70s music, promotes non-voting, practices kinky sex, and supports the desecration of a sacred national tragedy.

See how it works? Now you try! If enough of us list the sordid details of our personal beliefs and histories, then bullshit like Ayers won’t mean anything. It’s sort of like Lenny Bruce’s idea that repetition of a word makes it lose its power. In this case, repetition of an idea proves its inanity.

So join me! What else can we pin on Obama? Ever smelled your finger after picking your ear? You can tell me… You have? Do you support Obama? You do??

Ewwww… Obama likes the smell of earwax! Grody!!

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