Elysha

Ok. Every once in a while you stumble onto something on the internet that just… that just really makes you feel good that you are alive.

Elysha is that something for me today.

Ok, we all know and love the vast army of classical cross-over artists. I don’t mean classical cross-over as in Kronos or Alarm Will Sound. I’m talking Charlotte Church, Andrea Bocelli, Bond… that sorta thing. Of course, in the vast arena of horrendous music, classical cross-over has a special place in my heart. This is most likely since I have a mysterious mixture of emotions involved with the genre. There is an odd combination of disgust, envy, resentment, wonder, awe, etc. But it takes a special sort of artist to blend those emotions into something great.

Enter Elysha.

I hadn’t checked the AWS Myspace in a while, and I was performing the often tedious task of approving the hundreds of friend requests. Last on the list to be approved was an intriguing picture of a glammed-out brunette. I don’t know why I clicked it. Maybe it’s because I have a thing for brunettes. Maybe it’s because it was the last one on the list. Or maybe I had a premonition of the wonders to come…

What would you have done?:

Here is Elysha’s description of herself:

Hi! My name is Elysha. I am the result of long, exhausting hours of hard work. Day and night, night and day. No, I’m not the result of what you’re thinking of right now. I’m no more than a fantasy – I’m a drawing. (but between you and me I don’t think I’ve always been like this) See, my creators are basically my parents. I’ve never actually met them, but I can always tell when they’re around (or when they’re not around). Basically, they control most of what I do. It’s ok, it’s not like I have much of a personal life in 2D as it is anyway. However, when I’m playing the violin they can’t control me, ‘cuz you can’t control feelings, and that’s what music is all about. But whenever I play the violin, something strange happens to me. I turn into (gasp!) a human! Yes! I’m three-dimensional for a few minutes! (If you have any pity for me, press that “repeat” button, will you? Thank you.) There’s a catch though – in exchange for my so-called freedom, I can’t talk. (Not that I ever talk much, but whatever. A deal is a deal.) I love it – whenever I play the violin I feel like a different person, like I’m complete. It’s always weird being 2D again after having been 3D – no boobs! Oh well…. That’s my life in a nutshell! There’s more to come soon, so stay tuned! (literally!) And here you’ll find my new album at

Ummm… Do you have any fucking idea what that was all about? I most certainly do not. For a while I was like, is she a real person?? I mean, I think she is real. I don’t know what the hell tip this chick is on, but it is some next-level shit.

And now to the music. I recommend the BACH Remix. The experience is an exercise in endurance, somewhat akin to listening to Satie’s Vexations. She takes the BACH signature theme (B-flat, A, C, B-natural) and basically riffs on it for what feels like 10 minutes but the song is only about 3 and change (perfect for a single!). Make sure you make it to about 2:15 for an awesome treat. The production alone is quite unbelievable. Check out the original BACH tune in the playlist for some amazingly awesome drum programming.

Elysha is where bad meets good, where irony folds in on itself.

Listen to it. It will make you a better person.

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