Monthly Archives: October 2007

New unaired Family Guy!! Stewie Kills Lois!

I feel a little bad about posting this, since it’s apparently not the finalized version, but then again fuck it. I don’t feel like waiting another week and a half and neither do you. So here it is in all it’s glory:

Stewie Kills Lois

-found at sidereel

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Filed under sidereel, stewie kills lois

Voices That Care

This is about Gulf War 1, just so you know, curiously free of any military imagery:

I don’t see how growing up in that bastion of mediocrity that was the late 80s/early 90s could fail to mess you up in the head a little. I remember watching shit like this as a kid and knowing that something wasn’t quite right, but lacking any way of knowing what right was. I can watch We Are The World as something mildly humorous, since my memory is from when I was 5, very vague. But Voices That Care just kind of makes me uncomfortable. Please Movie/Rock/Pop Stars, don’t ever do anything like this again, please?

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Filed under Voices that Care, we are the world

The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Hell fucking yes. Yeah, it’ll probably suck. But it could be good. It could… If they put some money into it and got some good writers and actors, it could rock. I mean 24 shouldn’t have been good and it is, despite the torture. In my fantasy The Sarah Connor Chronicles becomes an awesome new serial drama and Terminator 3 never happened.

Oh yeah and this is the chick playing Sarah Connor:
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Filed under Lena Headey, sarah connor, Sarah Connor Chronicles, terminator

Mafoo’s ABC Adventure

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Filed under mafoo, shutterfly

Subway Thoughts

Just waited for 20 minutes on an A-train at Broadway-Nassau. The train sat there, more and more people squeezing on, the subway doors continuously beginning to close and then snapping back suddenly. It wasn't exactly rhythmic, but it had a certain obscene quality to it, like a turtle head nervously poking out – or the colloquial bathroom analogy that refers to this.
This is not the first time I've thought of routine subway experiences in terms of bowel metaphors. The experience of a flood of commuters spilling out of a freshly-opened pair of subway doors has always reminded me of an exhaustively liberating bowel movement. The train feels lighter. You have an indistinct feeling of freedom, as if the train would never fill up to same degree it just was.
I'm listening to a British singer called Bat For Lashes. Her new album, titled Fur & Gold, is getting very good reviews. What caught my eye was the routine comparison of her to Kate Bush, someone with whose music I have a near-unhealthy obsession.
Her music is really interesting – vocally she is similar to Kate Bush and Bjork, but steers clear of absorbing the influence in a way that manifests itself to obviously. Like Kate, and a growing number of British female singers such as Lily Allen, she proudly sings in her native accent, but displays a vocal versatility so that she doesn't rely on this as schtick.
Stylistically, the music is very diverse. It delves into styles as varied as Petula Clark-ish 60s britpop in What's a Girl to Do?, to industrial in Trophy, and into creepy downtempo surf rock in Sarah that seems right out of Blue Velvet. Oh yeah, and there is a bunch of harpsichord, like a lot.
What separates her the most from those esteemed musicians with whom she is often compared is her lyrics. Let me put it this way: I enjoy the music best when I don't think about the lyrics. I mean, they're not Ashley Simpson-bad, but they seem at worst the type you would see scrawled in a angst-oppressed middle-schooler's journal and at best from the lyrics sheet of a middle-ages-obsessed 70s British progger.
Here's an example of the former, from I Saw a Light:

The light gave me life
Helped me see more clearly
And the children went to sleep
And the car was towed away
And the leaves were rustling
As the night turned to day

And of the latter, from Trophy:

The queens and the court jesters
Clapped, adored
Their hearts swelled to overdrive a
Mercy sword
Mercy this and mercy that
Let justice prevail
But if just want my trophy back
It's not for sale

I'd be lying if I said the lyrics didn't get in the way. Every once in a while I'm like: Damn girl, you're my age! Why do you write lyrics like a 13 year old boy?
My advice would be for her to simplify her lyrics, stop trying to be profound and just focus on what sits well on her tongue, but of course this is coming from a song-writer whose songs usually consist of one sentence.

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Filed under kate Bush, Lily Allen, Natasha Khan

Dumbledore Was Gay or Is Gay?

The easiest type of admission or revelation happens after the fact. Oh, btw I was on steroids, now that I already have the medal, Read my lips: no new taxes, etc. How much of a cultural milestone should it be that J.K. Rowling has retroactively made one of her major characters a homosexual? To me it seems too easy, and rather manipulative. Sure, you are the author, why not say that Harry had AIDS, Hermoine had a secret abortion, Ron often thought about the effects of Global Warming? These are modern hot button issues that, if tackled, give some instant credibility to the author. In fact the reason I never got into the series (well, past the first book) was that it seemed essentially a safe, well-written children’s book, nothing to challenge my preconceived notions about society.

John Cloud puts it well:

Why couldn’t he tell us himself? The Potter books add up to more than 800,000 words before Dumbledore dies in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and yet Rowling couldn’t spare two of those words—”I’m gay”—to help define a central character’s emotional identity? We can only conclude that Dumbledore saw his homosexuality as shameful and inappropriate to mention among his colleagues and students. His silence suggests a lack of personal integrity that is completely out of character.

I don’t know why this should be applauded. Yes, it’s nice to have a major contemporary fictional figure who is gay, but I wish he were not so ashamed of it.

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Filed under j.k. rowling

Republicans vs Hillary

Although I talk a lot of shit about the left, they’ll still never be the fire-breathing assholes the Republicans are. Jesus, they seem to get off on un-gentlemen-like behavior at these debates. Have a degree of fucking honor, dayamn! They gnash their teeth like kids on a playground. I’m not a Hillary fan either, but speak about substance! My favorite of the bunch, Ron Paul, said it best:

“I think they’re bored, and they’re not discussing issues, so they have to come up with all this political stuff,” he said.

Paul characterized Clinton as “an easy target.”

“They’re using her to try to enhance themselves with the base,” he said.

If only he had a shred of a chance of even being nominated…

One of the best things I like about Obama is that he steers clear of these tactics, he’ll give his opinion when asked, but he doesn’t seem to thrive on it.

Hillary’s momentum is scary. Aside from the fact that I would not want her to become president, polls are showing her to be one of the Democrats least likely to beat the Republican nominee.

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Filed under Obama, Republicans, Ron Paul

Sushi so fresh it’s alive

There are two types of exotic foods, in my opinion: the type that stress your taste buds and the type that stress your brain. This is the latter. To be honest that video freaks me out, how the fish is still breathing while its body is sliced up and being eaten. It’s like something out of a horror movie. Yuck. I don’t know if I’d be able to do it. I mean I could, I just couldn’t let myself think about it, which I suppose is the way you handle any exotic food. I just don’t know if I want that kind of detachment.
-via Neatorama

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Filed under live sushi, neatorama

Hot Chicks with Douchebags

Wow, I just came across this site. I can’t tell if it is more infuriating or more hilarious. I’ll probably settle with infuriating, since every sensible guy has, as some point in his life, despaired on some beautiful girl’s unbelievably bad choice in men. The guy who runs the site really seems to have made an art of Hot Chick with Douchebag appreciation. Just in case you were wondering, here is an accurate visual definition of a douchebag.

Here’s his comparison of two of his favorite pictures, The Ab Lobster and Fish Slap:

Unbelievable. He’s like the T-1000 of douchebaggery. He will not stop… until we are ‘bagged.

But taking down the mighty Lobster? I didn’t think it could be done. After all, pointing. At. His. Abs.

And yet the eyebrow shaving, the hat tilt, the affect on next-generation douche like Minnow Slap in pic #2, the power of the hottie and the douche-chin were too much for even the wily crustacean to overcome.

Really everything a good blog should be, it’s focused, entertaining, and hilariously passionate. Kinda depressing though.

Funny how all the guys look like they’re from Long Island…

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Who do I hate most of all?

Choose one:

I hate

(A) Activists
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(B) Hipsters
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(C) Yuppies
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(D) Hippies
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most of all.

I can’t decide. Feel free to vote yourself in my comments.

Now, I guess I would still consider myself more to the left than to the right politically. But it’s becoming more and more apparent that I dislike the people on the left more than on the right. They (we?) just tend to be so much more smug, annoying, and self-righteous. And of course, despite their best efforts, they embody the spirit of conformity more than any TV-suckling red-stater. Nowhere is this more apparent than in NYC, where you see the cookie-cutter pattern they all fit into every single day embodied in around 100 people each. Uf! I know I’m being dark, but these are the people with whom I’m supposed to be voting along? Fuck. That.

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